I'm a silly girl sometimes, or... Pondering the deeper meanings behind the idea that maybe I've invested too much time in escapism.

So, now about those TV character crushes... I know these aren't real people, so don't get me wrong. But, part of the reason people like TV is because they fantasize and relate to the scenarios on some level and that's not real, either. I get it, don't worry. And so here follows a nearly exhaustive description of all the fictional guys (and a few girls) that I've crushed on. Here's my shallow, silly girl crush spoiler alert for this post. If you don't like this kind of thing, then quit reading.

My first TV character crush, as just a very little girl, was Mr. Spock. Man, he was just so cool, strong and brilliant. Next came Dr. Who (Tom Baker at the time) -- I was still a little girl. He, too, brilliant, cool, capable but with a more developed sense of humor. Yeah, okay, so they're both not human, but whatever; lots of my crushes weren't/aren't humans. I'm not humanoid speciesist, okay? And my profile says I'm a nerd, anyway.

Next came the teen years dominated by the typical popular hot TV stars (with a good dose of 21 Jumpstreet's Johnny Depp -- I've dug lots of Johnny's characters; I was fully in love with his Chocolat character. He's a primo hottie on my list - you know, the one that you and your spouse/partner both have of people who the other isn't allowed to object to if you ever get the opportunity to hook-up with; the list is basically always made up of celebrities and rockstar types you'll never meet, including fictional characters).

Now, as a 30-something, my faves are: Dr. Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds. I love those insanely brilliant types (sweater vests and a gun - rock on); back to the ol' childhood preference, I guess. Um, Eddie Cahill's Friends character from years of yore (yum - although I understand his desire to further his career via a more dramatic role in CSI: NY), Christine's brother on The New Adventures of Old Christine and the jaded alien-hunting cop on the too short-lived Special Unit 2 (SU2). O. M. G. and Colin whatshisname's Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. Oh, Mr. Darcy. Yowza.

I also have a couple of girl crushes (nonsexual, duh) just 'cause I think they're cool: Garcia from Criminal Minds and Abbi from NCIS. Also, Kaylee, the cool girl mechanic from Firefly (TV series), Dee-dee from Spy Girls and Pam Anderson's Val from VP (man, that was a funny, campy, super-cheesy show; and I love cheese). Oh, and that awesome cyber-chick on that episode of X-Files who had all the conspiracist-nerd dudes in awe who came out to fight the VR AI who was attempting to take over the world through the love affair that she had with her creator, a kid in a trailer. I don't remember much else, except that she was cool. And Dark Angel and Aeon Flux (the cartoon character, of course), too. Speaking of cartoon characters, my sister says I'm Daria. Right. Well, they all have traits that I admire and I either would like to emulate, embody or just hang out with.

And when I was a little kid, maybe 2nd grade, I remember this episode of Love Boat (cue theme song) where one of the guests was this uber-smart lady who was beautiful when she removed her glasses, fixed her hair and hid her smarts. As soon as she got back to being herself, though, no one was interested. I remember being intrigued by her, and that she was a nuclear physicist, and so that's the third thing I ever wanted to be when I grew up (the first being a queen -- I wanted to wear the queen suit, and the second being a psychologist as influenced by the Bob Newhart Show ). None of that ever happened, but I'm still holding out hope for the professional position of Queen, somewhere. Anyway, she was cool.

Um... Maybe I've watched too much TV over the years.

Well, I also have had a number of book character crushes, too. The biggest, I think, was/is R.A. Salvatore's Drizzt Do'urden. Mmmmm... Dark Elf Ranger. Next, Janet Evanovich's Ranger and I think I like: smart, broody and athletic. That must be it. But I like goofy humor, too -- that's a must. Well, there were lots and lots more book crushes (oh, the supporting Asian-sounding character who died tragically in the White-Ring Wielder series and Tolkien's Legolas and Strider, both), and little crushes on some of the authors just because they're so brilliant: Tad Williams and Neal Stephenson.

And I think I'd also like to meet Keanu Reeves. I dig all the sci-fi stuff he's done and think he sounds like a cool person from interviews and such. And he's cute. I'm just putting that out there to the universe because of something I read in one of the gossip mags that someone had at the office. It reported (and I use that term loosely) in its coverage of Josh Duhamel (yum, too) & Fergie's wedding, that Josh just mentioned that he'd love to meet her, and look -- 7 years or so later, they're married. So, there. I pick Keanu Reeves to meet. Oh and Orlando Bloom, too, just because he's a hot elf and because one of those stupid "which celebrity is your best date match" games matched him up with me. ;-D

Don't get me wrong, I love my boyfriend. Also, we have not had, and continue to not have, any intention of finalizing anything by getting married -- even though we have our 15 year anniversary this August. Whatever, we just kind of go with the flow. And, if I were ever seriously going to consider dating anyone else, then Troy and I would have to call it quits, first. I'm not the philanderin' type and I'm also quite happy with our relationship the way it is at this time. I am, however, the pondering, speculative type. So, now, where was I?

Lastly, a few more characters: Daphne DeMaurier's pirate (Frenchman's Creek), Last of the Mohican's Uncas, Babylon 5's Marcus (the Ranger), Edward Scissorhands (there's Johnny, again), Han Solo, Professor Z (from something like Black Hole High), and Stargate's Dr. Daniel from when he wore glasses (glasses on rugged-looking men earn bonus points for me). Those smart, dark, tall-ish, athletic, studious or broody men with glasses and guns always get me; I don't think they really exist, though, and they'd also have to be kind inside with a weakness for animals to really be the end all. And if one ever came around me in real life, I'd be highly suspicious -- too good to be true, what's the catch...

Well, after re-reading all that, I can see why I'm not married. Huh. I'll just have to wait until Dr. Josh Stein and I meet (Another unreal person -- that's a name from a dream that I had a few months ago where that was the name of the man I was going to marry -- I have no idea who that is and didn't find anyone when I googled the name who looked likely to match, so maybe my subconscious drummed that up from a TV show, movie or book or something that I don't consciously recall).

There. That's much better than that crappy nightmare I woke up with. And now I can do homework. Yippee.